Raising a child with a disability is hard, especially for mothers because usually, we are the primary caregivers. We often feel alone and scared on this journey. People around us overlook us. We plan or manage therapies. We also manage our kids, homes, different learning approaches, medical help, and more. Despite all this, we still feel we could have done better for our kids. Right!

I am not here to remind you how hard it is to be a parent. I am here to share my journey as a mom and what worked for me. In the past five years, I have learned that prioritising myself has helped me. Taking time for self-care has been beneficial. Pursuing my hobbies has enabled me to take care of my child and be the parent my child needs.

Here are my 5 tips:

Motherhood can be hard, but you know what is harder? Trying to be a perfect mom.

Social media makes us believe that we are doing less for our kids. I am not like that mom who makes DIY projects for her child. I can’t prepare those delicious recipes for my child. Oh, that mom looks so perfect with a baby and manages household chores flawlessly. Why can’t I keep my home clean and organised like her? Why can’t I homeschool my child peacefully like that mom does? I feel like I’m failing every day, like I’m not good enough.

As a new mom, I was much more focused on therapies and providing my child exposure instead of making it fun, which resulted in a child who was least interested in learning, much more interested in crying, moving, and running around.

I wondered what I was doing incorrectly. Then I understood that children require play-based learning. I was not making therapy activities enjoyable for my child. Instead of genuine learning, I was merely pressuring her to learn. I learned the hard way that my child, like every child, needs fun to fully engage in daily learning activities. I discovered her strengths and tried to incorporate her favourite things to make the activities more interesting for her.

Every child has their own strengths which we have to find and make activities much more fun with a play-based learning approach and lots of scope for movement so that the child can connect and enjoy the whole process.

I hear this a lot: “My child doesn’t like XYZ as your child does. My child doesn’t listen as your child does. My child likes to run and move a lot and has no interest in letters like your child. How can I teach my child this like your child?”

Every child is unique, shows interest in different areas, and learns at their own pace. Try to focus on what he/she is drawn towards and loves to learn. What excites them, what’s their pace for learning a new skill if you want them to fully enjoy what they do. Follow your child’s lead and try to be present instead of rushing for milestones or any other developmental skills.

Observe your child and learn about their strengths and needs.

Raising a child with a disability can be challenging, mainly because of the lack of social support. As mothers, we need a safe place, whether it’s a person or a community, with whom we can share our struggles, joys, and fears without being judged or receiving pity.

Where our feelings and emotions are welcomed.

Being a mom to a child with a disability is not our identity, we deserve some fun, love, and respect.