The moment I saw Kavita’s Facebook post about sharing adoption stories, I immediately jumped to pour my heart out. As the herd of couples thriving to enter parenthood, we too were one among them dating ten years back. We did everything our family asked us to do, visiting top-notch doctors, temples, hakims, vaidyas and every possible person who declared that they knew a cure that would help us. We met with failures, disappointment and a few creeps during this phase of our life. What no one advised us about or even spoke about was adoption. 

Ever since I learnt about Sushmita Sen and her adopted daughter Renee, I was overly inspired to follow in her footsteps. I had promised myself as a teenager that I too would adopt my child when the time was right. Probably that promise had to be fulfilled first, like a kind of “mannat”, which was probably why we were unable to embark on a journey of natural pregnancy just yet.

My determination to adopt was stronger than ever after those multiple failures of a natural pregnancy, but the very first challenge that I had to face was to bring my better half on the same page. He had his own apprehensions, fears and hesitations that had to be addressed, and I was no adept.

Having an intent with no knowledge is like jumping into the water without knowing how to swim. So, after almost a year of discussions (Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa) we finally boarded the flight of our dreams. But the awakening about the ground reality of processes, time and documentation happened when we started googling for more information. We came across CARA and read through their website. Technically, the shiny bubble of becoming parents instantly ruptured in a hush. Luckily we were residing in the national capital those days that allowed us to book a counselling session directly with CARA to understand the process better and clear our worries.

I still reminisce about Mr Avinash’s smile and voice echoing in my ears. He thoroughly explained the nuances of the process and parenting. We walked out with more smiles and self-assurance. The next big challenge was to bring both sets of parents on the same page. It was a new concept altogether for them. Years ago, we became the flag bearers of “love marriage” in our families. And now we were again the first to grow our family through adoption. It took time and patience, and every minute vested was worth it. 

The preliminary tasks were completed with ease, like filling up forms, document submission followed by a home study. Then the difficult phase started The Wait. This was the biggest challenge ever as it was indefinite and certainly long enough to drive any normal human crazy. From the city of Qutub Minar we shifted our caravan to the land of Victoria Memorial as my better half’s profession demanded so. Thankfully few months passed in setting up our home, learning about the city and, of course, waiting for our bundle of joy. 

It was during these times that we met with the most humble human being, Mr Anup Dewanji, in Kolkata who is the present secretary of “ATMAJA- An Association for adoptive parents” founded in the year 2000. We look at him with high regard for counselling and guiding my in-laws about disclosure, which was still a matter of distress for them. He always stood by us and supported us in understanding the afterlife of adoption. 

The wait was like Hanuman ji’s tail…never-ending. And I wish I could just find the end of that tail and get away with it. Phew. That meant finding the beginning of my peace of mind. I utilised this waiting period to pen down a book on adoption, BEYOND WOMB. It’s a story of an adoptee and adoptive parents who show a promising way of life. I recently published this book with Notion Press. 

Coming back to the waiting period, after about ten months (which seems nothing honestly in 2021 where the waiting period is close to three years) we came across a baby through Immediate Placement. That was the most exciting moment of our life. The thrill of meeting our daughter was beyond explanation.

In a week we were sitting athwart people in a SAA (State Adoption Agency) conversing about our life, reasons for our decision to adopt, and many more. Our hearts pounding louder than the conversation and desperately waiting for the agency attendants to bring along our bundle of joy. The “moment” arrived. They had dressed her in a frock probably kept safe for such occasions. Those big eyes and tiny nose melted our hearts immediately. There was no better feeling than holding her for the first time and tears just rolled down my cheeks upon seeing her smile. That was when it dawned, the most exciting and adventurous journey of parenthood had “just” begun. 

Those twinkling eyes and toothless smiles were what we had waited for so long. We completed the entire process of foster care with plenty of challenges at the agency. There were several human and procedural frictions during the process. However, all is well when it ends well. We were home and she had a warm welcome from the entire family. Our time and energy now were directed towards her upbringing and pampering. She became our centre of attention and still is. Her arrival was like breaking all evil spells. Our world was full of love and laughter.

Today when I look at us, I can confidently say that the Almighty will always have Best Placed Plans for everyone; the only catch is to have faith and patience.  

But there was something that I realised was still lacking. One fine day a call from a PAP made me rethink my purpose in life. They had very basic queries, were scared to meet a counsellor, their family wasn’t supporting, and the worst part was that they were not able to understand the literature of CARA’s website. I wanted to spread awareness about adoption and one afternoon in August 2020, I started a YouTube channel as a solo effort to do my bit towards the society of adoptive families through my personal stories. That is when I started posting videos on adoption. While researching this subject to familiarise myself better with the legal system, I also realised that there was hardly any information for Indian parents willing to adopt, especially on the internet, which is the largest and most easily accessible resource base for many. 

Slowly yet steadily, viewership on my channel started to grow and I started receiving a lot of positive feedback from several PAPs. That is when I also shared some beautiful adoption stories of people around me. But that wasn’t enough. People needed support, help and direction which wasn’t available free of cost. And not everyone out there could afford it. And I couldn’t do it all by myself. I needed a team (rather must say an Army) of like-minded people. That’s when PRAGNAA was born. 

Along with three other adoptive parents, Digangana Mukherjee a communication professional, Keerthana Venkatesh a corporate leader, writer and journalist, and Kameshwari Satish an experienced social worker in adoption, we conceived Pragnaa, a support group that aims to provide aid to the intending, prospective and adoptive families, and at the same time create awareness about adoption in the society to normalise this concept as equivalent to childbirth. 

We hope that together we all can make a difference and create a beautiful life for all heart babies and parents.

Our story began with two states falling in love to make a family of heart and blood. Our simple life goal is to nourish it beyond societal formatives with love and laughter. I would like to thank you for this opportunity to share our life story on your website.

– Sahana Krishnamurthy